Thursday, June 24, 2010

smiling.

I like who I am.
I'm in a good place.

If I want to
Yell at someone,
Cry for the first time in months,
Argue about nothing,
Laugh about something that isn't funny,
Well,
That's just okay.

I can stress out about the stupid things later.
Right now, I know whose hands I'm in.
God'll take care of me.
He likes me too.

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be every so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

I might be a loser,
But just
Take me for me.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

crash.

I hope this makes sense.
At least somewhat.

I wish God used a turn signal.
I wish He just showed me what His will is that simply.
I wish that when I made a bad decision,
There would be a big sign:
Wrong Way.

But He doesn't.
And there isn't.

I have to trust him.

What if I make a wrong turn?
What if I speed?
What if my car breaks down?
What if I get lost?

I'm already found.
I just have to trust.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

not ready to make nice.

Forgiveness.

I feel attacked,
I'm hurt, and I'm tired.
Just stop.
It's too hard to forgive
When it's still not over.

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love.
-Ephesians 4:2 NLT

People are not perfect.
We are made in the image of perfection.
That's it.
It is our goal to strive for perfection.
I must allow for you.
Allow for me in return.

"In your anger, do not sin:" Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
-Ephesians 4:26-27 NIV

I want to be rude and cruel.
Get over yourself.
Stop bothering me.
This is your fault.
But I must live in His image.
Why is that so hard?
Why am I trying to do this on my own?

I can't.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

life isn't fair.

I want the future.
I'm so confused.
Decisions are difficult.
I feel threatened.

Trust.
That word needs to be more a part of my vocabulary,
Everyday.
There is a bigger picture.

I am old.
I feel like I've been suffocating.
I want out of this situation.

The possibilities are endless,
But I want to limit them.
I am a planner.
Letting that go,
Letting go of my plan-
It's just not okay with me.

My old soul wants to thrive.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

more than fine.

I have suffered.
Now I will
Heal.

It happens.
But I feel like I invite it in.
Why?

Hope.

Things will get better.
I'll be happy-
I am happy.
Why am I complaining?

I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only.
I would like to be that unnoticed & that necessary.
- Margaret Atwood

Saturday, May 22, 2010

ready.

I'm ready for a new chapter.
I'm ready for a new place.
I'm ready for summertime.
I'm ready to breathe new air.
I'm ready to be somebody.

"This is the way it ends
Don't tell me it's meaningless
There'll be no compromise
We fall and we too shall rise
You held me and taught me how
I think I am ready now
If this is the way it ends
This is the way it's meant to be"
- The Way It Ends, Landon Pigg

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

one more day.

Things are difficult.
But I'm right there-
On the edge of happiness.

Just a blip in the radar.

I've come to know so much.
I'm ready to take hold of
This new place I've found.

"We can never go home
We no longer have one."
- No Sound But The Wind, Editors

I like being in control
Of myself
Of the situation.
This isn't in control.
Not completely, anyway.
I hate that feeling in my stomach.

Frustration.
Regret.
Hope.

I don't want life
To pass me by.