crash.

I hope this makes sense.
At least somewhat.

I wish God used a turn signal.
I wish He just showed me what His will is that simply.
I wish that when I made a bad decision,
There would be a big sign:
Wrong Way.

But He doesn't.
And there isn't.

I have to trust him.

What if I make a wrong turn?
What if I speed?
What if my car breaks down?
What if I get lost?

I'm already found.
I just have to trust.

not ready to make nice.

Forgiveness.

I feel attacked,
I'm hurt, and I'm tired.
Just stop.
It's too hard to forgive
When it's still not over.

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love.
-Ephesians 4:2 NLT

People are not perfect.
We are made in the image of perfection.
That's it.
It is our goal to strive for perfection.
I must allow for you.
Allow for me in return.

"In your anger, do not sin:" Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
-Ephesians 4:26-27 NIV

I want to be rude and cruel.
Get over yourself.
Stop bothering me.
This is your fault.
But I must live in His image.
Why is that so hard?
Why am I trying to do this on my own?

I can't.

life isn't fair.

I want the future.
I'm so confused.
Decisions are difficult.
I feel threatened.

Trust.
That word needs to be more a part of my vocabulary,
Everyday.
There is a bigger picture.

I am old.
I feel like I've been suffocating.
I want out of this situation.

The possibilities are endless,
But I want to limit them.
I am a planner.
Letting that go,
Letting go of my plan-
It's just not okay with me.

My old soul wants to thrive.

more than fine.

I have suffered.
Now I will
Heal.

It happens.
But I feel like I invite it in.
Why?

Hope.

Things will get better.
I'll be happy-
I am happy.
Why am I complaining?

I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only.
I would like to be that unnoticed & that necessary.
- Margaret Atwood

ready.

I'm ready for a new chapter.
I'm ready for a new place.
I'm ready for summertime.
I'm ready to breathe new air.
I'm ready to be somebody.

"This is the way it ends
Don't tell me it's meaningless
There'll be no compromise
We fall and we too shall rise
You held me and taught me how
I think I am ready now
If this is the way it ends
This is the way it's meant to be"
- The Way It Ends, Landon Pigg

one more day.

Things are difficult.
But I'm right there-
On the edge of happiness.

Just a blip in the radar.

I've come to know so much.
I'm ready to take hold of
This new place I've found.

"We can never go home
We no longer have one."
- No Sound But The Wind, Editors

I like being in control
Of myself
Of the situation.
This isn't in control.
Not completely, anyway.
I hate that feeling in my stomach.

Frustration.
Regret.
Hope.

I don't want life
To pass me by.

the word.

I believe the Bible is true.
In every sense of the the word.

I believe there is only one interpretation.
I used to struggle with that.
I guess I still do.
But God wrote it as He did.
And it is Truth.

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."
John 1:1

I don't claim to know how to interpret the Bible, exactly.
But I know that it is.
I know that it must be taken not in part,
But as a whole.
I know that God knows what He's doing.
It's not for us to figure out;
It's about trust.
There's that word again.
I have to find myself in Him,
In His beautiful, true Word.

"When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in You."
- Shadowfeet, Brooke Fraser