life isn't fair.

I want the future.
I'm so confused.
Decisions are difficult.
I feel threatened.

Trust.
That word needs to be more a part of my vocabulary,
Everyday.
There is a bigger picture.

I am old.
I feel like I've been suffocating.
I want out of this situation.

The possibilities are endless,
But I want to limit them.
I am a planner.
Letting that go,
Letting go of my plan-
It's just not okay with me.

My old soul wants to thrive.

more than fine.

I have suffered.
Now I will
Heal.

It happens.
But I feel like I invite it in.
Why?

Hope.

Things will get better.
I'll be happy-
I am happy.
Why am I complaining?

I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only.
I would like to be that unnoticed & that necessary.
- Margaret Atwood

ready.

I'm ready for a new chapter.
I'm ready for a new place.
I'm ready for summertime.
I'm ready to breathe new air.
I'm ready to be somebody.

"This is the way it ends
Don't tell me it's meaningless
There'll be no compromise
We fall and we too shall rise
You held me and taught me how
I think I am ready now
If this is the way it ends
This is the way it's meant to be"
- The Way It Ends, Landon Pigg

one more day.

Things are difficult.
But I'm right there-
On the edge of happiness.

Just a blip in the radar.

I've come to know so much.
I'm ready to take hold of
This new place I've found.

"We can never go home
We no longer have one."
- No Sound But The Wind, Editors

I like being in control
Of myself
Of the situation.
This isn't in control.
Not completely, anyway.
I hate that feeling in my stomach.

Frustration.
Regret.
Hope.

I don't want life
To pass me by.

the word.

I believe the Bible is true.
In every sense of the the word.

I believe there is only one interpretation.
I used to struggle with that.
I guess I still do.
But God wrote it as He did.
And it is Truth.

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."
John 1:1

I don't claim to know how to interpret the Bible, exactly.
But I know that it is.
I know that it must be taken not in part,
But as a whole.
I know that God knows what He's doing.
It's not for us to figure out;
It's about trust.
There's that word again.
I have to find myself in Him,
In His beautiful, true Word.

"When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in You."
- Shadowfeet, Brooke Fraser

imperitave.

I have a problem with authority.

I hate being told what to do.
I don't take order's well.
I get frustrated.
I'm immature.
I overreact like no one's business.

Authority is a good thing.
I can't be the leader of my own life.
For some people, that might work.
Not for me.
I'd rather let Someone bigger show me the way.

But it's not as easy as I want it to be.

I want to grow up
Right now.
I want to be 27,
Degrees in hand,
In the real world.
I'm itching to be let go,
To run out the door,
Never look back.

But I want to be ready.
I must trust Him.
His will, His time-
It will come.

Bring it on.

life is good.

My 8-year-old cousin B tells a lot of stories.
He always gets this look on his face- "Listen to me!"
His eyebrows are raised, his hands move a lot,
He walks in circles and jumps up and down,
And, with plent of and's and um's,
He tells his story-
And it is always the best story EVER.

This might seem like a silly, immature thing-
But I really wish I was like that.
I wish that I saw life as story after story,
Every one more dramatic that the last.
B tells things the way he sees them.
I think that's the best part of it all-
He really, actually is that excited.

I'm too melodramatic.
I'm too prone to overreact.
I'm too easily frustrated.
I'm too sarcastic.

"I finally came to grips that my life may not be legit
And I haven't ever felt this good in years."
-Actions Not Words, Crash Romeo

So-
I will laugh more.
I will talk to God all the time.
I will listen to the Ting Tings often.

Life is too happy to be sad all the time.