the art of performance.

Tonight. The 2010 Grammy Awards.

I've never been a huge fan of the Grammys, personally. I don't listen to a whole lot of Top 40. I mean, I know the names, most of the songs. But I'm more a Regina/Ingrid/Kate kind of girl. Tonight, though, I decided to watch.
Boy, am I glad I did.

I appreciate a good performance. By anyone. Be musical, theatrical, visual, whatever. Tonight, the Grammys. A showcase of real performers.

That's why they're there, I think. Everyone of them- whether it's your genre- you must appreciate what they do. As cliche as it is- their art.
Take The Lady, for example. Seriously. This is art, people. Her outfits, whether you're a fan or not- they are certainly a concrete form of a art. It took some serious thought to create these ensembles. Oh, Gaga.

One day, I will write a complete blog just on her. I find her brilliant.

Then there was Beyonce's performance of "If I Were A Boy" combined in a set with Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know." I think that just about says it all. She sang freaking Alanis Morissette. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfbBun2l9GE (I'm not sure if this video will actually work...) Beyonce is a performer. I respect her for it. If I had the chance, her concert would be top of my list. Well. After The Lady, of course.

Okay. Now we come to it:

Taylor Swift.

Well. This is my opinion. Tayswift is adorable. Her lyrics, her humility. She really is. I like her. I listen to her music (I can't believe I just wrote that, and I'm glad only two people in the entire world read this).

But really. She didn't deserve Album of the Year. I can't say who did. But I don't believe it was her. Sure. Her album was a huge staple of 2009. Yes, I agree with that. But I do not think it was THE album. If you give a performance that bad (poor Stevie Nicks), you can't win the biggest award of the night. Sorry.

But yet again- Taylor defies us all. You got it, girl. Much as I disagree, you certainly got it. So go you.

ya-ya.

"We are not born all at once, but by bits. The body first, and the spirit later.... Our mothers are racked with the pains of our physical birth; we ourselves suffer the longer pains of our spiritual growth."
- Mary Antin

Above is one of the epigraphs to Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. I'm reading it right now. It's about these four friends:

The Ya-Ya's.

I wish I was a Ya-Ya. They know what it's all about.

"Setting the magnifying glass aside for a moment, Sidda relaxed her eyes so that the photo was only vaguely in focus. An afternoon of iced tea and idleness. Those Ya-Yas aren't going anywhere. They're lying low on the side porch shaded by live oaks. The Germans are about to reach Stalingrad, and the gas chambers are heating up, but the Ya-Yas are still in high school, and the life of the porch surrounds them. They are lazy together. This is comfort. This is joy. Just look at these four. Not one wears a watch. This porch time is not planned. Not penciled into a DayRunner.
Those porch girls had no idea they were going to sprawl on that couch until the weight of their adolescent bodies sank down into the pillows. They have no idea when they will get up off that couch. They have no plans for what will happen next. They only know their bodies touching as they try to keep cool. They only know that coolest spot they can find is in front of that rotary fan.
I want to lay up like that, to float unstructured, without ambition or anxiety. I want to inhabit my life like a porch."

I yearn for summer. I yearn for deep friendship(s).

I feel empowered as of late. I feel bold. Like I can make mistakes, and it's okay. The world will not end if I fail a math test.

I'm so ready for summer. There's more snow on the ground outside than I've seen in all my life, and I just want summer. It's silly, really. I love cold weather, snow, etc. But I just want. Silly me. I'll play in the snow tomorrow. Then I will anxiously await summertime.

I want to be a Ya-Ya.

silly.

I feel good today. I just decided- today is a good day. I love rain. My umbrella broke on my way into church. I laughed.

Today is a good day.

I want to feel silly.

Silly is such a strange word. Silly- it sounds like an abreviation. Now that I've typed it so many times, it doesn't even look like a word. Hmm.

Sillysillysillysilly.
Silly.

I met a man of two feet tall
This man was quite ambitious
In a world that is so vicious to us all
I said, "Hi," as he replied
He said, "Listen to these words
That I have lived by my whole life
"You're only as tall as your heart will let you be
And you're only as small as the world will make you seem
When the going gets rough and you feel like you may fall
Just look on the brightside - you're roughly six feet tall"
- On the Brightside, nevershoutnever!

I hope I can keep feeling silly as I attempt the dreaded English IA.

trumpets.

Ahhh. Long weekend. Midstate.

Melodramatic post time!

You know, pain is real. I can't ignore that. Sometimes things are easier to say, hey, that's not real. It doesn't affect me.

Take Haiti, for example. I'm not in Haiti- I'm in Tennessee. So then, what does Haiti matter to
me? Why should their pain matter to me?

Because. It's real.








Toddlers hit their heads on tables. Fathers get fired. People die.

Pain.
Is.
Real.

It's fact. It's logic. It's science.

"You may not like it, but we need pain. Pain acts as a warning system that protects you. Pain says, "Warning, Warning....stop what you doing and do something else." Pain also helps healing...because an injury hurts, you rest."
- http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/pain.html

The quote above is taken from a neuroscience for kids article. I think, in it's simplicity, it says what I want to say.

"Everytime I see you, I still hear trumpets."
- 1000 Times a Day, The Early November

joy.

Why aren't I joyful? Why don't I sing praises to God every moment of every day?

In Haiti, they're singing praises.

"Prayers of thanksgiving and cries for help rose from Haiti's huddled homeless Sunday, the sixth day of an epic humanitarian crisis that was straining the world's ability to respond and igniting flare-ups of violence amid the rubble of Port-au-Prince."
- AP
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100118/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/cb_haiti_earthquake

I live in a comfortable American home. I've been shopping twice in the past week. I had breakfast, lunch, and dinner today. I'm sitting in a padded chair typing on a computer in a warm house.

Why aren't I screaming my thanks to the heavens? While Haitians are dying, I am complaining that our kitchen isn't done being remodeled yet. What's wrong with me?

"Prayers of thanksgiving... rose from Haiti's huddled homeless Sunday..."

I want to help them. I want to pray every second for them. I love them, and I don't even know them.

I'm so thankful for His grace.

"For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins."
- Romans 3:23-24 (New Living Translation)

snow days.

I hate snow. But I really love snow days.

Missing school, shopping extravaganzas, staying up late (I've really got to stop that), movie nights, new discoveries, and many other things.

I have discovered upon this long weekend:

1. Starbucks has a rewards program. And it is awesome. Completely free. You get benefits after only 5 purchases. All you have to do is grab a gift card, load it up, and use it when you get your grande soy mocha gingerbread chocolate strawberries and cream celery frap no whip. https://www.starbucks.com/card/rewards/#num=01&id=Rewards_Home

2. Gap jeans are very expensive. Well, if you consider $80 a pair expensive- I do. So. eBay. Just so you know.

http://www.ebay.com/

3. I created a Twitter. Yes, I finally gave in. I have been under the pressure of my peers since shortly before this summer, in order to follow friends involved in drum corps. Well, never did. But now I have. So this summer, I'll keep in touch. And- once I completely figure it out (help would be appreciated; it's not the simplest thing in the world)- it really is cool.

http://twitter.com/missmelodycook

4. Ah. The Oatmeal. Just look at it. Trust me. (Okay. So it can be a hit-or-miss. But most of the time, the former. I like it. Just check it out and see for yourself.
http://theoatmeal.com/

5. Finally, I've saved (what I think to be) the best for last: StumbleUpon. This website is probably my favorite ever. Way beats social networking. You just join- it does involve a tool bar, but it's worth it!- and stumble! It takes you to random websites that relate to your interests (it surveys your interests- no psychics). StumbleUpon is the best. No, seriously.

http://stumbleupon.com/

I am thankful for
Snow days.

spilled milk.

We all make mistakes. Right? Tell me you've made a mistake. Whether it be something small- I've cheated on a math test (or two)- or not so small.

I made a mistake.

Well, that's unfortunate. What more can I say? I'm sorry? No. It's not always that simple. Did I just spill milk? Can I just clean it right up? Or will it take a little more than that?

I can't decide if this is a mistake or a mistake.
Things wind up, things wind down. I'm nervous, I relax. The general state of happiness causes the little things to get a lot bigger. So then maybe it is a little thing. Maybe I'm overreacting. I do tend to do that.

Isn't it silly to worry? We are intrepid; we carry on.

Maybe I didn't even spill milk...

5 something in the morning.

All I want to do is sleep. Seriously now. Please. I can't find the Benadryl. This is unfortunate.

It's 5:13 in the morning. What in the world am I supposed to do? I watched a few hours of House. Then I tried writing in the journal. Then sorted through music after planning on taking a hike tomorrow... Today. Then I tried looking up yoga and zumba classes. Now I've just given up. When will it be appropriate to leave for my hike?

It's 5:15 in the morning.

It's quite the playlist I made for my hike:

Albertine, Brooke Fraser. Boston, Augustana. Breathe, Taylor Swift. Desire, Ryan Adams. Your Hands Are Cold, Jean-Yves Thibaudet. You and Me [Extended Wedding Version], Lifehouse. Hometown Glory, Adele. New Favorite, Alison Krauss & Union Station. Things I'll Never Say, Avril Lavigne. Fall to Pieces, Avril Lavigne. You Led Me, BarlowGirl. Easy Silence, Dixie Chicks. Just For Now [Live], Imogen Heap. Keep Breathing, Ingrid Michaelson. Fractions, Emery. Why Georgia, John Mayer. Nicest Thing, Kate Nash. Infinity, Merrick. It's You, Michelle Branch. That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed), Panic at the Disco. Samson, Regina Spektor. Gravity, Sara Bareilles. Open Your Eyes, Snow Patrol. Stay, Sugarland. This Time, Jonathan Rhys Meyers.

I'm not sure what my favorite television show is... It may be a tie between Grey's and House. Mmm. Medical dramas. That's revealing.

I like music lately. I've been finding new stuff (for me). I have a varied taste- it's not special or different in any way. It's not extremely broad. It's funny, I guess. I like what I like, you know.

Oh. That'll be my life philosophy. I like what I like.

The things we come up with at 5:27 in the morning...

to do list.

I'm not much of a New Year's Resolution kind of person. I think they're silly. But, I will make a to do list.

2009 was a learning year for me. Beginning of junior year, driving, Governor's School, new friendships, oh so many mistakes and overreactions (I'm an expert at overreacting), and all of the everything that goes on within the span of 365 days.

2010, I want you to help me complete my to do list. Here it is (somewhat abridged):

1. Learn to cook (not bake).
2. Write letters to people I love.
3. Pray and read the Bible. Every day.
4. Start riding horses again.
5. Take a class in Zumba or Yoga.
6. Dress better.
7. Study biology.
8. Keep up with current events and have an informed opinion.
9. Read The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia.
10. Be more honest.
11. Expand my vocabulary and use French as often as possible.
12. Get a summer job.
13. Stop saying "Oh my God" and "[insert subject here] sucks."
14. Write another story.
15. Get my GPA back up and make a 30 on the ACT (fingers crossed!).
16. Apply to colleges and make a tentative decision.
17. Acquire a strand of real pearls.
18. Use lotion every day.
19. Go to bed earlier.
20. Redecorate my room.
21. Go to the symphony.
22. Visit a nursing home.
23. Tell someone about Jesus.
24. Be far more polite and respectful.
25. Keep a journal.

It's a little edited from my full version, which I wrote out in my journal (#25!). But there it is. My to do list for 2010.

Here's to hopes for the year 2010.