paramore, honesty, and christmastime.

Today is a day for Paramore. I wonder when they're coming to the Boro. I have become quite fond of their music lately (see my playlist below, haha). Their music is... catchy. It's simplistic, not particularly great. But catchy. It's good for me.

I bought a new journal a couple of weeks ago. It's bound like a book, and it's got a stack of plain books in multiple colors pictured on it. I thought it would inspire me to write. This is high school, my thoughts go. I'll want to remember these days. But I haven't written a thing yet. I'll think about doing it, sure. Think about what I'll write. But I never actually have. Then I thought maybe I'll keep my quiet times recorded in it, in place of a journal. Basically the same thing. But it's time for honesty. I haven't done quiet times. It's like God is starting to push me to really follow him. Give up my life to live the one He wants me to. And guess what?

It's really hard.

I like my life. As flawed as it is, as many times as I just want to scream in frustration, as frustrated as I am with my unknown future, as much hurt as seems to surround me. I really, really like my life. I'm comfortable.

I have been warned so many times about being comfortable. How dangerous it is for a person's inner being. (I can't believe I just said "inner being") Comfort, I have come to believe, halts change. Change can be positive or negative, but it is so necessary. We cannot stay stagnant as a ponds for the rest of our lives. We must change.

Paramore has a song:

I can feel the pressure
It's getting closer now
We're better off without you
Feel the pressure
It's getting closer now
You're better off without me.
-Pressure, Paramore

It's fitting for things going on right now.

Mmm. It's Christmastime. Party tonight. Me and my giiiirls. I'm so excited. I've been alone nearly all break so far. I've just begun Breaking Dawn today. I finished New Moon and Eclipse during my plethora of alone time (I hope I used that word right; I should try expanding my vocabulary). Page 98, and it's already infinitely better written than the first three (though I only read the first hundred pages of Twlight).

Oh geez. I'm writing about Twilight. Curse you, Stephanie Myers, and your grotesque writing of adorable stories. I definitely need this party tonight. Haha. Get away from Edward, Jacob, and Bella. Ahh.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on, your troubles will be out of sight
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the yule-tide gay
From now on, our troubles will be miles away
Here we are as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more
Through the years
We all will be together
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now